Happiness is a delicate balance of what one wants and of what one has!
(My writeup appeared in Ahmadabad Mirror)
Happiness is a delicate balance of what one wants and of what one has. You need to learn to strike this balance. It may be quite a difficult task but it’s not impossible, provided you are keen on learning this balance and hold the power of your happiness in your own. As a psychiatrist these are the few things, I believe, is necessary for an individual to be happy.
- DECIDE TO BE HAPPY: happiness is a mental state; you need to conceive the idea of happiness in your mind before you decide to be happy. To be happy is something that you need to develop from within; it cannot be supplied by any external mean. In every situation this decision will bring you across two choices, making a right choice will lead you towards happiness.
- DO NOT FORGET THAT MAN IS A SOCIAL BEING: we live in a society not because we choose to but because we need to. Being social or to connect with other human being is very necessary for us, these connections give us many positive frames like security, worthiness, togetherness etc. which ultimately leads us to feeling of happiness. But unfortunately our connections have become virtual to friends, family or loved ones. Reading a text saying ‘LOL’ is nothing compared to that of listening to your loved ones laughter and seeing the sparkle in their eyes. which would bring you inner happiness. If you are prone to chatting then video chatting is better than texting.
- KEEP POSITIVTE PEOPLE AROUND: the company that you keep always affects your mind frame, especially your moods and feelings of happiness as both the things are infectious. If you are surrounded by happy people then their positive vibrations are bound to bring some affirmative change in your mood. Hence, always hold on to such individuals in your life who are full of life, are optimistic and vibrant. You also need to spread this same happiness around yourself to keep it flowing.
- ACCEPT THINGS THAT YOU CANNOT CHANGE: people keep complaining or being unhappy about things that are out of their control. Things like scorching heat of summer or constantly lingering on things that you may not be able to afford. Now instead of complaining and becoming unhappy about such things it is better to accept it and be peaceful. The best way to deal with such things is by learning to enjoy the current state.
- REMEMBER EXPECTATIONS KILLS: expectations are called roots of unhappiness. But actually the problem lies in various aspects. i.e expectation from wrong people, about wrong thing and at wrong time brings disappointment and unhappiness. Hence keep a check on expectations as expectations kill slowly but surely.
- LEARN TO LET GO: you need to be forgiving to self and others. It is not very healthy to sweat on small stuff as it brings stagnancy to your mind and life. Instead it is always better to move on by forgiving but not forgetting the lesson you learnt.
- FIGHT NEGATIVE EMOTIONS: you need to maintain your emotional health also. Emotions have its own impact on your happiness so always watch them, check where they flow, how and with what intensity because it has the potential to generate pain, regret, guilt and many such negative emotions which could be the one of the cause of your unhappiness.
- YOU NEED TO STAY HEALTHY: if you want to be happy; you need to be healthy physically and mentally. No ill person has been found to be happy. So you need to constantly keep a watch on your life style. Avoid addictions to substance like alcohol, drugs as well as gambling or any such impulsive activities.
- REGULAR EXERCISES ARE MUST: exercise is necessary for a healthy routine and to be happy. Recently researches prove that ‘Being Happy’ is a biochemical state of body. Exercise produces endorphins in your body which is one of the happy chemicals. To do so you need to eat right, exercise regularly.
- HAVE A FAITH AND HOPE: unhappiness comes when one looses two most important virtues of life i.e. Faith and hope. You need to believe in yourself and god in all the rough patches of life. These will give you internal strength and it will keep you going.